Mast Cell Mom

We all know that Hollywood, celebrities, magazine ads, movies, TV, commercials, etc are “deceptive.” It wasn't until I became a late teen/early 20’s and insecurity began to bring comparison into my mind. Thoughts such as, “She has the most beautiful skin.” Her body is so fit.” She looks so perfect in a bathing suit.” “Her hair is amazing.” would enter my mind when seeing a beautiful actress or model.   I truly was convinced, in my insecure confusion, that these women were born that way. They woke up with glowing skin, they laid around doing nothing to achieve that bathing suit body, or their hair really is all natural without use of dyes, hair extensions, or enhancement clip-ins.  Then I grew up and became more secure and began realizing so much of the “perfection” displayed on what we watch on TV or in the movies isn’t completely accurate, but it's a facade. Camera angles, personal seamstresses, hair and makeup crews, and so much more, are what goes into making a person ...

  Today I received a very significant letter in the mail. It is the first step in a disability loan forgiveness process. For over ten years I have been battling, struggling, and unable to perform duties "above and beyond" that of my every day life (and don't even get me started on whether or not I perform such *said* duties well enough or not. 😢).  In 2010, I received my Master's Degree in Special Education. It was a very special time in my life. I went on to teach for an entire school year and Briella was born; thus, my undiagnosed "disease" was also born but I would not find that out for years afterward. Her pregnancy was difficult and I thought I would improve once she was born, but I only degraded more. My safe food options became less and less, rashes became chronic, pain was debilitating, and I just assumed it was exhaustion from being a new Mom. Pursuing teaching after her birth seemed impossible with the way I was feeling.  It's now been ten yea...

Definitely coming to terms that "feeling like crap" is my new normal, but this week I was "feeling like death warmed over"...if that's such a thing? Or am I being too dramatic? 😅 Recently, I had the opportunity to visit my Immunologist after over a year since my last visit (due to COVID I was forced into remote homeschooling last spring when I was due for my follow up. Now, I’m teaching regular homeschooling, and have had absolutely no energy to do the trip).  The Dr. prescribed me a few new medicines; one of which is oral cromolyn sodium, that's specificlly used to treat Mastocytosis. For the past year I've been on a strict regimen of claritin, xyzal, Monocluest, and hydroxyzine paired with probiotics, digestive enzymes, and as much self control of eating tempting foods, as I can tolerate.  My chief complaint to my Doctor was a symptom I've had for quite some time: internal tremors/vibrations/static. The "dial has been turned up", for lac...