The Worse of the Two or Lesser of the Two?

Definitely coming to terms that "feeling like crap" is my new normal, but this week I was "feeling like death warmed over"...if that's such a thing? Or am I being too dramatic? 😅

Recently, I had the opportunity to visit my Immunologist after over a year since my last visit (due to COVID I was forced into remote homeschooling last spring when I was due for my follow up. Now, I’m teaching regular homeschooling, and have had absolutely no energy to do the trip). 

The Dr. prescribed me a few new medicines; one of which is oral cromolyn sodium, that's specificlly used to treat Mastocytosis. For the past year I've been on a strict regimen of claritin, xyzal, Monocluest, and hydroxyzine paired with probiotics, digestive enzymes, and as much self control of eating tempting foods, as I can tolerate. 

My chief complaint to my Doctor was a symptom I've had for quite some time: internal

tremors/vibrations/static. The "dial has been turned up", for lack of a better way to explain, on these episodes. Those of you who remember good ole fashioned radio and how it used to buzz really hard and loud on those pesky am channels? You could practically feel the vibration of the static. Well, that's exactly what's been going on with me for well over a year now; however, my "dial" has been turned up the past few months. I fall asleep to it, I wake up to it, I sit on the couch with it.

I'd say it was at a mild 2-4 most every day early last year, but lately, it's been cranked up to a 9 or 10. I constantly feel a strong internal vibration/buzz/tremor and it's been such an uneasy feeling the past few months. It's also quite exhausting on my body; causing me to get very fatigued, easily exhausted, lowered blood pressure, and sometimes, even dizzy. I told the Doctor about this unsettling symptom and he said it was partly MCAS and partly POTS (dysautonomia as he called it). 

This past week I have begun the new medicine of cromolyn he prescribed. While it has helped to turn my dial down on the internal tremors, it has turned my dial up for face burning and rashes. I feel like this will be forever the case with living with Mast Cell Disease. One medicine helps one symptom to improve while worsening another symptom. 

So now, I'm at a crossroads. Do I stop the cromolyn and go back to severe interal vibrating, that no one can see, or do I continue on the cromolyn and feel a non-stop fire on my face accompanied by a red, speckled rash around my eyes? I realize that without the medicine, I have symptoms so which symptom is worse and which is better? Isn't it so crazy that I have to think this way? Such is the life with a chronic, sometimes invisible, illness as Mast Cell Disease.

Now it's time to decide: which is the worse of the two, which is the lesser of the two? (It's rhetorical as I've already made the decision. Red, burning face is the worse and I will not be able to continue taking the cromolyn. I guess I'll be "buzzing" instead...just not the kind of buzz one typically boasts about having. 🍺🍷😉🤦.)

Pictures of my reactions from Cromolyn: 

This reaction affected my whole face including my forehead and chin, not just my cheeks. Pictures don’t depict it whatsoever. Oh.my.goodness the burning was so bad I was near tears a few different times over the course of the week. At one point, as I was icing my face with peas, I was looking at the light blanket of snow on the ground and contemplating putting my face into it. Not even kidding (for once). Briella described it as red like an apple and the burn felt like I was standing right next to the hottest campfire. She touched my face and said it even felt hot on her hands. 

No makeup. Painful eye sockets, blurry vision, allergy shiners, and weird red speckled marks around eyes. My eyes were also seeping all day long.

Over 48 hours later since my reaction erupted and my face is still burning and feels on fire. 😟 It looks and feels like my cheeks have been forcefully slapped.