Disability Loan Forgiveness

 

Today I received a very significant letter in the mail. It is the first step in a disability loan forgiveness process. For over ten years I have been battling, struggling, and unable to perform duties "above and beyond" that of my every day life (and don't even get me started on whether or not I perform such *said* duties well enough or not. 😢). 

In 2010, I received my Master's Degree in Special Education. It was a very special time in my life. I went on to teach for an entire school year and Briella was born; thus, my undiagnosed "disease" was also born but I would not find that out for years afterward. Her pregnancy was difficult and I thought I would improve once she was born, but I only degraded more. My safe food options became less and less, rashes became chronic, pain was debilitating, and I just assumed it was exhaustion from being a new Mom. Pursuing teaching after her birth seemed impossible with the way I was feeling. 

It's now been ten years since I received my Master's degree. An entire decade and I've only been able to work one year of it. We've been faithfully paying on it for this whole time without hardly a dent in lessening the debt. I had taken a loan that if I promised to work for a low income school, they would "forgive" my student loan at the end of the years of teaching. I fulfilled one year of that, but have not since been able to return to work. 

Thank goodness for my amazing Immunologist who sees me and understands what I am going through, even though he actually doesn't see me at home dealing with this disease/disorder/syndrome..whatever anyone wants to call it. He believes me. I'm going to repeat that because it's meaning is deep for me so read it slowly: HE.BELIEVES.ME.

Because of this wonderful Doctor, debt from college for a job that I probably won't ever be able to perform could potentially be forgiven. 

I planned my life and planned to teach, but God has directed my steps in another route that wasn't my choice. However, I literally step out in that faith daily and will continue to do so. I have put this process in God's hands and told him, "Your will be done just as it has been already." When I opened the paperwork today, I was flooded with amazement in how the Lord has directed me to this Doctor and how he has diagnosed me, and now, believing in my disability. God is starting the redeeming process for the steps he had determined for me to take in this life. I am thankful. 

As of February 10, 2021, I have been formally notified that I was approved for disability loan forgiveness. I feel so entirely grateful.