Misunderstood

I've been sitting on this topic (let's be real, more like sleeping/napping/resting on this topic) for a few weeks now. Maybe "brewing" and "simmering" are better words to describe what's happening in my mind? 

MISUNDERSTOOD. We've all been there. Think back to how you felt or how you feel when you are misunderstood. If you are like me, you may feel confused by it. Possibly flustered or agitated to not be understood? Maybe you become or became emotional, stressed, tense, anxious, or furious? There are many responses to such a feeling. 

If we're all being honest with ourselves, misunderstood is a thought or a feeling we deal with on a fairly regular basis. If you are husband working for his family, you feel misunderstood both in the workplace and in the home. If you are the stay-at-home wife of (said) husband, you feel misunderstood by husband. If you are a child or a teen, you feel misunderstood by your parents. If you are a working mom and you have friends who stay home with their kids, you feel misunderstood. I think we are all catching the drift here.

A couple months back my husband injured his knee from a meniscus tear. He had obvious swelling, a limp, and was quite expressive when the pain became unbearable. For several weeks of this injury our plans were altered or put on the back burner. No one thought anything of it because he was in (obvious), noticeable pain and we were trying to help him heal. Despite doing those things, I'm sure there were plenty of moments he felt misunderstood in what he was grappling with in his injury.

The entire month of January I was solo parenting (and homeschooling our kids) during each work week while husband traveled for his job. I could feel it taking a toll on me physically, psychologically, and emotionally by the end of that month. One of my most upsetting symptoms are these internal tremors and they've been amped up a lot recently. On top of that disturbing symptom, my toes are painfully numb along with my hands and wrists. This all leans toward peripheral neuropathy, but that's a different topic for another post. Needless to say, coupled with almost daily food flares, red face, low blood pressure moments, and pushing myself to exhaustion doing the solo parenting gig has had me feeling incredibly misunderstood. 

I love my husband. He's quite incredible. Supportive. Loving. Doting. Loyal. Adoring. Hard working. Dependable. Just as I didn't understand his pain with his knee, he doesn't understand "all the things" that go on in my body. I'm misunderstood by my own husband, and not because he isn't trying to understand me, but because he can't understand something he doesn't have to live. If there's anyone close to understanding, it's him, but even he doesn't quite get it. It's become a sobering thought and reality for me, honestly. 

That's the difficulty in living with any type of illness, injury, disease, addiction, or struggle. The misunderstanding can feel so lonely, so isolating, and so invalidating. It becomes deep, but just like one acclimates with the extra weight of the baggage of their situation, one begins to grow weary in being misunderstood by such baggage.