Random Rashes Aren't Random Anymore

I do not like to post my facial rashes (because they make me feel insecure), but when I get rashes on my body then I start to think that maybe I need to come out with what goes on with me under my clothes or behind the makeup? But, truth be told, this is part of who I am and I need to let go of my pride and bring awareness to what I encounter on most days of my life. I've been covering this up, quite literally, for years. I know it's time to start showing vulnerability and becoming more transparent. 

Yesterday I got into the shower and noticed I had a rash all over my legs and arms. Why? I really don't know. I suspect it's something I ate, because that's usually why I get such rashes, but I truly don't know. And, here's the deal, this rash isn't anything I haven't had before but when I'm on enough anti-histamines that it's weird to think I could still get any kind of allergic reaction rash, but I most certainly do. Will I ever know exactly why? That is the answer I don't know if I'll get an answer to, but this is why I keep this blog in hopes to document these things to get answers someday. 

    

           

And now it's time for the face rash pictures. This is harder for me to do than one would think because, ultimately, I am exposing my vulnerabilities and insecurities to the world. My facial rashes are a huge source of insecurity for me. Plus, my rashes swell my face and eyes and I don't even recognize myself. It's hard enough coping with my body raging in pain most days, but when it has to be on display for the whole world; that's another level. 😨😥😢

These facial rashes are so painful. I try to think of the adjectives to describe them. My eyes hurt down to the bones in my eye sockets. Oftentimes, my head and/or eyes will feel like it's going to explode. My eyelids are so sore and it pangs to have my eyes open and I dream of laying down to sleep. I feel like I have a pulse in my face and it just throbs in pain all day; which, in turn, makes my forehead split in pain. I can feel the sensation of swelling in my eyes and they will easily water.

  

This was during the winter of 2019 when I would later discover that my olive oil soap was doing this to my eyes. I look like I've been beaten up, don't I?! 

I don't even recognize myself in this picture. I look as miserable as I know I felt. I look like I have been crying all night. Nope. This was from a new product I tried on my face after showering that caused my eyes to swell, become black and blue, and get glassy as well as set off my cheeks to flushing red and burning hot. Yes, I probably felt as bad as I looked because I look horrible in this picture and I felt equally as badly!

4 Day Cheesecake Crumb Reaction:

  

Day 1: Swollen/puffy eyelids (notice how they're folded over with eyes open and lines formed on closed eyes because skin is so stretched), red upper eyelids, black and blue lower eyelids. Pictures don't capture it the same way as seeing it in real-life. Secondly, pictures don't depict the pain in my eye sockets and head. This is from scraping the bottom of my homemade cheesecake with a knife and then licking the knife. (I suspected cream cheese to be a trigger food for me and I haven't eaten it in a year or more so this reaction has confirmed the smallest amount sets me off terribly. 

                                                                                                                   Day 2 from cheesecake crumbs: My eye is even more swollen than the day before and painful-to-the-touch eczema-like rough skin has grown over the red, puffy part of my eye. Raccoon rings under my eyes from the swelling and puffiness. 

 Day 4: This lighting is much different, but puffiness has significantly calmed down, though, right eye is still red and now it's scaly/blistered with mild black/blue on lower eyelid compared to the day before. The raccoon rings and swelling under my eyes have subsided considerably since the day before. 

 2019 Bacteriostatic Saline Reaction: Pictures don't depict the feeling or look of this rash traveling from the top of my temple to my chin, but it is burning hot, feels like my face is on fire, bumpy, and so very itchy. This was an immediate facial reaction to 2cc of bacteriostatic saline used to trick my brain to not feel the pain before getting a mole removed. {an alternative method than using lidocaine since I react "worse" to such medications}. The Doctor witnessed my face turn bright red, while I was feeling very lightheaded and sweaty from the POTS, so I had to lie down for 10 minutes in the Doc office before they would let me leave.